12. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.

11. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

 9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

 8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.

 7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

 6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

 5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck.

 4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

 3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

 2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear".

 1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.